Whatever Else

If I'd ridden that bus
down dusty roads
through Iowa cornfields
late last spring,
ridden it
through raucus
stadium nights
of drums and
horns and
flags, ridden it 
deep into summer,
would I have
felt you there,
among the others?

If I'd done it, then,
(though I was
prevented)
and then the same,
this year,
would I have
sensed you
there, again, 
except, perhaps,
a little less?

I'm asking this
because I'm
not quite sure 
of how it works
except that
the losing of
one like her 
seems to continue,
incrementally,
irrevocably,
through the years

until not only
the voice
and face
and feel of them
are gone but
likewise
whatever else
we might have saved
in our once full
and grieving hearts...

LPK
3.27.2009 (a)

for Bianca Vocke 
and her other family,
the Dubuque Colts