thisnewday

In the basement workshop, where I haven't been in weeks, are the neatly stacked pieces of a complete tool stand based on the design of the work benches which my grandson and I constructed over the summer.

The tool stand was supposed to be one of the final pieces of shop equipment to be built before we took on whatever might be requested by his mom's or my daughter's households or might simply occur to us as something interesting or fun to build.

But once the summer was over, and school had started again, there was always a reason why it was inconvenient for him to come here to work, earn a couple of bucks, and maybe learn a few things.

And so, our "future last project" has sat and gathered dust, leaning against the layout table where I had supposed he would mark up the pieces for drilling and final assembly.

Once or twice, in the interim, I tried to motivate him by explaining that this project was important to me, not just as the building of a new workshop, but as part of an ongoing effort to build a new life for myself.

Because of that, I told him, I might have to go ahead with its completion on my own, if he was unable or unwilling to find the time to help. But that I didn't want to do that because I had always intended for the completed workshop to be "ours."

And so it's sat. And I have sat, watching the hours and days slip by as they tend to do, whether well-used or serving only as the monotonous markers of an unfulfilling and directionless life.

Now, on the eve of a New Year, that universal marker of beginnings and endings of things, I've made a decision.

I've decided that I'm going to put this project away and go ahead with other things. I know that I need to get my own life moving and that I can't place the burden or responsibility for that on anyone else, including my grandson.

But I also can't bring myself to give up the hope that one day, on his own, he may decide to re-engage with what we started together. At least to the extent of completing this last piece of it.

Until then it will sit, as time and this life passes it by. And that's the last that I'm going to say about it...

LPK
Dreamwidth
12.31.2017

I spent about 20 minutes yesterday trying to arrive at an accurate measurement from the outside edge of my router base to the inside and outside edges of a straight router bit. The purpose of this was to determine placement of an edge guide to makes a series of cuts on the 2x4 lumber that I was using as a spacer to mount my old woodworker's vise on our new workbench.

After that, I spent about another 10 minutes at trial-and-error because I couldn't get a good measurement and then couldn't get the math right because I misread the dimensions on the router bit case.

I finally got the job done in relatively good shape although I did go back today and made some improvements in how the vise and the plywood liners for the jaws were mounted.

BUT as I was walking upstairs tonight, from a last survey of the day's work, it occured to me what a total BONEHEAD I was for not having simply figured out the whole thing mathematically and said screw all the measurements and trial-and-error nonsense.

At which point you don't need to know a single thing about tools, materials, measurements, even the math, to appreciate the frustration I've been feeling about thought processes that just are not working the way that they need to WHEN I need them to work for me.

Because it isn't just the processes and procedures in the basement workshop that are getting muddled, it's things upstairs and outside the house and with my grandson and all kinds of stuff.

The thing is that, years ago, I used to design complex roof and floor systems for huge buildings that I'd never even seen because they weren't freakin' there yet. It was my job to design, say, 100-foot roof trusses from drawings made up of lines and numbers. By conecting with and understanding the thought processes of designers and engineers who might be 1500 to 2000 miles away.

And now it takes me two days to figure out a simple problem in my own basement. Which is the annoying part. And I haven't even allowed myself to consider the embarassing part because I've been too pi$$ed-off about the rest of it.

Which may mean that I'm finally at the place where I'm ready to demand more, expect more of myself, in all of my upcoming projects and future endeavors.

I hope so, because JUST being pi$$ed-off really hasn't solved anything in my life that I know of yet...

LPK
Dreamwidth
10.7.2017

As things now stand, I'm supposed to pick up the grandson after school today. Which means I have to remember to call the school to let them know he won't be riding the bus. He's coming to work today because he missed Wednesday due to the extra homework he had from being absent from school the day before.

Anyway, I'm gonna cook up the Spanish rice I was gonna make on Wednesday so that there'll be something for him to eat besides the turkey-bacon-barbecue sandwiches I usually make for him. (For a while, he wasn't eating lunch at school because his mom hadn't signed the voucher for the school lunch program.)

Today, in the shop, we're gonna do a little metal work. Just cutting, drilling, and grinding some aluminum bar stock to use as shims when we install the shelf units on our assembly table. I'm also going to show him how to change the grinding and polishing wheels on the bench grinder so he gets some experience at some (very) basic mechanical maintenance.

I've also decided that we're going to build about a 1/4-size version of our shop tables to use as a tool stand for the stationary sander and scroll saw that're still in the basement of the house in the city. They were my dad's, very well built, as such things were back in the day, and, once cleaned up, they'll be a good addition to our shop until/if my son is someday able to provide a different home for them.

And "That's the news from Lake Wobegon," as Garrison Keillor used to say. And as I am boringly prone to repeat. lol...

LPK
Dreamwidth
9.29.2017