whatever else

if i’d ridden that bus
down dusty roads
through iowa cornfields
late last spring,
ridden it
through the green
and golden
stadium nights
of drums and
horns and
flags, ridden it
deep into summer,
would i have
felt you there,
among the others?

if i’d done it, then,
(though circumstances
interfered)
and then the same,
this year,
would i sense you
there, again,
except, perhaps,
a little less?

i’m asking this
(of anyone
inclined to listen)
because i’m
not too certain
how this works
except that the losing
of one like her
seems to continue,
incrementally,
irrevocably,
through the years

until not only
the voice
and face
and feel of them
are gone
but whatever else
we might have saved
in our once full
and grieving hearts...

LPK
3.27.2009 (a)(p)

In memory of
Bianca Laura Vocke
March 27, 1990 -
December 11, 2007