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Cardio-effed-up-ology
Jun. 4th, 2018 12:55 pmI seem to need something novel, something tactile, something material, to look forward to every day.
I think that's why I buy things at Amazon and eBay and PyramydAir. And Lowe's and Home Depot and even, late at night, from the grotesquely-peopled aisles of the local Walmart.
So that there might be something in life that's a perceived distance apart from the sad weight of the here-and-now and the past-and-gone. Something that's both outside of myself and connected to me, however superficially.
Something which connects me to a relatively certain event, in the reasonably-forseeable future. Even if it's just the metallic squeal and clack of the mailbox lid, opening and closing.
Something which, in this odd and ultimately unsatisfactory way, says that there's a future with something in it that I should want. But which I must find a way, during this day and the next, to be alive for...
LPK
Dreamwidth
6.4.2018
I think that's why I buy things at Amazon and eBay and PyramydAir. And Lowe's and Home Depot and even, late at night, from the grotesquely-peopled aisles of the local Walmart.
So that there might be something in life that's a perceived distance apart from the sad weight of the here-and-now and the past-and-gone. Something that's both outside of myself and connected to me, however superficially.
Something which connects me to a relatively certain event, in the reasonably-forseeable future. Even if it's just the metallic squeal and clack of the mailbox lid, opening and closing.
Something which, in this odd and ultimately unsatisfactory way, says that there's a future with something in it that I should want. But which I must find a way, during this day and the next, to be alive for...
LPK
Dreamwidth
6.4.2018
