Me, Trying My Best

I think I've been looking for the book that's going to save me. Even though I know that no such thing exists. I also think that I'm over the romance novels. Thankfully, I guess. And I don't want to say that with malice or prejudice because they helped me for awhile and I think there's probably some that are worth reading. If not to me, then to someone else.

So tonight, after picking up my grandson from varsity soccer practice and dropping him off at his mom's, I stopped at Tar-jhay on my way home and browsed their slim selection of books. Just, you know, in case. And a few minutes there seemed to confirm what I thought I'd been feeling. That it's time to move on.

What I did find--pick up, put down, then come back to--was Amor Towles' A Gentleman in Moscow. It had been a selection of the book club I belong to during one of the months when I didn't attend. And so I'd never read it. And picked it up tonight.

I did that knowing that it's not going to save me. That it's not going to set me heart a-flutter with predictable romance, contrived heartbreak, and yet another inexplicably unsatisfying "happy ending." Which is probably a good thing because the last time my heart was a-flutter they sent me to the cardiac care unit.

Anyway, I know this book will have none of that. Nor will it transport me back to that room full of bookish friends.

It'll just be me and the book. With me, trying my best to be my own friend...

LPK
Dreamwidth
9.27.2019

SBSK

Just after I wrote the previous entry, I was browsing YouTube and came across an extraordinary channel called "Special Books by Special Kids," or SBSK for short.

I won't go into a lot of detail here but, having just talked about looking for a book that would "save my life," it's interesting to have found one that could possibly change how I feel about it. My own life and many others.

That said, an introductory clip by its creator, Chris Ulmer, is found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwFv-BtTiSc

LPK
Dreamwidth
9.27.2019