Oh my, so sorry to hear this. Thing is, something you said, about the teen years being "the most egocentric time," really rang true and is probably more helpful to me than anything I could possible say to you.
Jason and I did OK, and I'm always happy to have him here, but finding it difficult to feel that he's REALLY here, if you know what I mean.
And that's especially difficult because I care so much about him and hear/feel such echoes of the disengaged sort of relationship that I shared with his grandmother for so many years.
Anyway, we did our best and parted on good terms and with the promise that we'd meet again on Wednesday to maybe finish the project which has actually, with a few bumps, gone quite well.
But, yes, that lack of sympathy, that inability to empathize, is such a hurtful thing and they just don't seem to get it, don't seem to understand.
I do try to explain things like that to him, relationship issues which will become more and more important in his life as time goes on.
And, though I don't want to play the "I'm getting old and gonna die soon" card with him, I remember vividly how sad he was in recalling how the distance had grown between him and his grandmother, by the time she died, and I don't want him to go through that when it's me.
All of this is especially hard when you're hurting, as you are now, and I have the deepest sympathy for you and share your pain over these young ones.
I hope, against the odds, that you'll be able to have a good conversation with your dear Anah because I know, as you do, that she will benefit from your words--if only she will hear them, and that the rest of your weekend together will be a happy time for both of you.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2017-09-30 04:08 pm (UTC)Jason and I did OK, and I'm always happy to have him here, but finding it difficult to feel that he's REALLY here, if you know what I mean.
And that's especially difficult because I care so much about him and hear/feel such echoes of the disengaged sort of relationship that I shared with his grandmother for so many years.
Anyway, we did our best and parted on good terms and with the promise that we'd meet again on Wednesday to maybe finish the project which has actually, with a few bumps, gone quite well.
But, yes, that lack of sympathy, that inability to empathize, is such a hurtful thing and they just don't seem to get it, don't seem to understand.
I do try to explain things like that to him, relationship issues which will become more and more important in his life as time goes on.
And, though I don't want to play the "I'm getting old and gonna die soon" card with him, I remember vividly how sad he was in recalling how the distance had grown between him and his grandmother, by the time she died, and I don't want him to go through that when it's me.
All of this is especially hard when you're hurting, as you are now, and I have the deepest sympathy for you and share your pain over these young ones.
I hope, against the odds, that you'll be able to have a good conversation with your dear Anah because I know, as you do, that she will benefit from your words--if only she will hear them, and that the rest of your weekend together will be a happy time for both of you.
My very best to you and yours...L