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Just like the old days. I'm sitting at a qwerty keyboard, with the black grime from the underside of a car ground into my skin, and feeling that compulsion, momentarily, to write.

Except that now I know that it goes nowhere. That life will wash this feeling away like so much dirt from a motorhead's hands at the end of another blue collar day.

Blame it on the movies, this lapse. On Richard Linklater's Before Sunset.

Blame it on Jesse's (Ethan Hawke) and Celine's (Julie Delpy) meeting at a Paris bookstore, their river taxi ride past iconic landmarks, their movie-length discussion of the romantic landmarks in their own lives.

Blame it, as well, on Nina Simone singing live in a Paris nightclub. Or on Celine singing "Je T'Aime Tant " in a walk-up flat.

Blame it on anything, I guess, besides the things I'd once more like to feel but somehow cannot...

LPK
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9.10.2009

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