Ripping Off the Band-Aid
Jan. 7th, 2012 11:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thisnewdayMy grandson stayed in town last night because he had indoor soccer practice on Friday night and a game on Saturday morning. Which means that he also slept at the house and that we quite naturally fell back into the routine that we were used to when he was living here.
But as much as I love having him around, it's like the proverbial band-aid being ripped off the healing wound, each time that he leaves, because it feels like I'm once more facing the empty house for the very first time.
So I'm trying very hard to believe that those feelings will gradually recede, in frequency and intensity, over time. And that time, which is now mine to use as I will, can be turned to productive and life-enhancing purposes.
I need to believe that. But I also need to believe that his father, and his father's new partner, truly recognize what they've undertaken in taking over this child's life. And that they are capable of understanding the necessity of sometimes putting aside their own needs in order to accomodate his.
Which may, in fact, be at the heart of my own problems with this. That I'm finding it difficult to believe that someone, who has had the luxury of living his own life as if it were the only one that mattered, can suddenly turn that around in consideration of this child who has always loved him but who now truly needs him because there's no one else.
I'd always heard that it was difficult to stand at the edge and breathe. Now I'm finding that it's even harder to be there and believe...
LPK
LiveJournal
1.7.2012 (b)
But as much as I love having him around, it's like the proverbial band-aid being ripped off the healing wound, each time that he leaves, because it feels like I'm once more facing the empty house for the very first time.
So I'm trying very hard to believe that those feelings will gradually recede, in frequency and intensity, over time. And that time, which is now mine to use as I will, can be turned to productive and life-enhancing purposes.
I need to believe that. But I also need to believe that his father, and his father's new partner, truly recognize what they've undertaken in taking over this child's life. And that they are capable of understanding the necessity of sometimes putting aside their own needs in order to accomodate his.
Which may, in fact, be at the heart of my own problems with this. That I'm finding it difficult to believe that someone, who has had the luxury of living his own life as if it were the only one that mattered, can suddenly turn that around in consideration of this child who has always loved him but who now truly needs him because there's no one else.
I'd always heard that it was difficult to stand at the edge and breathe. Now I'm finding that it's even harder to be there and believe...
LPK
LiveJournal
1.7.2012 (b)
