Customer Service

[thisnewday]

I'd just gotten home from grocery shopping, and was putting things away, when I decided to take off my jacket. As I did so, my cell phone flipped out of my pocket and fell directly into the dog's water dish. Which was, of course, full to the brim.

In an act of extraordinary bravery, which can only be appreciated if you've smelled this dog's breath, I fished it out and tried to dry it off. Then, I immediately texted several family members to say that if I didn't answer my cell phone they should call the house instead. Several texted back to say that they'd gotten the message.

In fact, the only one who didn't was Her Nurseliness who, having endured some thirty-odd years of marriage, probably figured that she owed me nothing. Especially while seated on her throne at the casino.

Soon after that, the phone started doing wierd things all on its own, so I figured that the best thing for me to do was to get over to the Verizon Store and inquire about my options.

On entering the store, I was greeted by this sour-looking service rep who seemed intent on letting me know, in every way possible, that I hadn't any.

So all right, maybe I had something to do with the rocky start. When she asked what I was there for, I said that I wanted to enter the stupid stunt of the day contest. And she didn't blink, didn't smile, didn't give any sign at all that she was even slightly amused.

After asking several questions about the recent drowning victim, which by now lay prostrate on the counter, its back opened and stripped of its battery, she said, "Best thing you can do is put it in a bag of rice for three or four days and see if that dries it out. You've got about a 50/50 chance."

With that unhappy statistic freshly in mind, I thanked her and made one last attempt to salvage a bit of humor from the situation.

"So," I said, "After the three or four days, can I still eat the rice?"

As she turned to walk away, she didn't look at me, much less smile...

LPK
LiveJournal
1.31.2012 (b)

Comments

[earthmother45.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! I loved reading this post! You have such a delightful sense of humor and a wonderful storytelling gene! Don't ever stop! Even in a dire situation, you find the humor. Too bad others, such as the store clerk, can't even seem to crack a smile. So sad to be humorless.

[olbuksings.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I think I got the gene from my dad who used to have the whole family snoring away ten minutes after a family dinner. At least here they can scroll down their "friends list" and escape with the click of a mouse.

As for the humor, I think I may have an equally hard time getting my wife to see it after I tell her that if the "rice cure" doesn't work it's gonna cost $250. Maybe I can catch her on a day when she's just won big at the casino...