Fulfillment

Years ago, my father struck out at the very thing that he needed most in his own life, jealous, I think, that I had it in mine. What I had, back then, was the unconditional love of my maternal grandmother, the one in whose home my mother and I lived for the two years my father was in Europe during the war.

Over the years, I've come to understand that there were lots of other things in play at that aweful moment. And now that he's lying, sick and alone, on his way out of this life that he worked so hard to live, I find myself trying to remember that.

Still, it's the other part that's hard to forget when I feel compelled to make a choice between the emotional needs of my own precious grandson and those of a father who, so late in life, came to recognize and seek fulfillment of his own...

LPK
LiveJournal
11.15.2009

Lost

"Lost in a Roman
wilderness of pain
and all the children
are insane..."

Sorry, Jim, but spoken as one who managed to grow old, to one who didn't, it fits...

thinkin'

been thinkin' 'bout it again. just thinkin'. which is what i do when i don't seem able to make it turn out right. and somehow, standing there at the edge, it calms me...

Before the Darkness Falls

Gonna try to get a walk in before the darkness falls and the skies open up again...

LPK
LiveJournal
11.15.2009

No?

The Pee-Wee footballers are on the field, so no walking on the track. And it's too late, I think, to drive across the city to another track. So I'm gonna do the stretches I've missed for the past few days. Then back to doing laundry and maybe something for dinner. Fascinating life, no?

Not This Time

G-o-o-o-d workout. And feelin' better after it. Sometimes a couple days off doesn't hurt. Unless that's where you make the decision to not go back. And, yeah, over the years I've had a couple of those. But not this time...