At the Bookstore

[thisnewday]

A couple of nights ago, after dropping Her Nurseliness off for her 12-hour shift at the hospital, I drove out to the Barnes & Noble on Erie Boulevard. I didn't have to be back at the house at any particular time or for any particular reason. I've had that kind of unaccustomed freedom this week because the kids were off from school, for mid-winter break, and my grandson had decided to spend it at his mother's.

In previous years, we've filled the week with soccer tournaments or soccer camps or both but this year, when I asked, he declined, at first saying that he just wanted to hang out with friends. Then, last Sunday, he asked me to take him to his mom's for the day. Which I did, because I've always tried to accomodate any chance he's had to see his mother.

That evening, he called to see if he could stay overnight and if I would bring him a video game and a change of clothes. Which I did. The next day, he asked me to bring him his wallet and after that he didn't call again. And so he ended up staying the week.

Which has resulted in a lot of free time that I don't usually have. Normal weekdays are especially full, and a lot of what I routinely do is for him. So when I do happen to sneak in a quick trip to the bookstore, I'm usually very aware of time, not really able to browse at my leisure. It's usually a quick glance at the new releases, then the literary bios, followed by the reduced price table, and out the door.

The one other stop I've always made, over the thirteen years that he's mostly been with us, is the kids' reading section in the back/right corner of the store. He and I used to read together a lot. The are literally piles of Magic Tree House and the Who Was? and What Was? books stacked on shelves around the house. As well as lots of individual history and biography titles from when he outgrew these kids' series.

But over the past couple of years, it's become more and more difficult to find anything that interests him. Or to get him to sit down with me to share a few minutes of reading. And when I try to engage him about this, he always protests that he still likes to read, just not right now. But, as I've pointed out to him, that "just right time" just never comes.

So the other night, as I made my habitual turn toward the back/right corner of the store, where that treasure trove of children's series and YA biographies and histories had always been for us, I stopped. I stopped and turned back toward the front of the store. And for the first time in nearly fourteen years, I left without walking back there.

Times change, I know. And people change with them. Especially people who are engaged in growing up and finding their own pathways and interests and priorities in life.

I can't stop that process and I shouldn't try. My grandson needs to be able to use what I hope I've given him without the uncomfortable pull of strings attached.

I just hope that tonight, as we look toward the new week, that he'll feel within himself the call to come home. To live a bit more of the life that we've tried to make for him here. And to perhaps share a word or two about what's on his mind and in his heart...

LPK
LiveJournal
2.21.2016