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My chest hurt so badly this morning, from riding in the cold air, that I wondered if I was having a heart attack.

But when I got home and parked the bike indoors, I felt better almost immediately.

It made me think about what our friend, rebeccmeister, had said about her rowing coach's friend. The one who died of a heart attack while rowing.

That he would've wanted to go that way, doing what he loved most in this life.

I used to tell my daughter that if they found me slumped beside the treadmill, that'd be fine.

But these days I'm of two minds about this. I understand wanting to do what you love up to your last minute.

There are times when I feel that way about the bike. But then, why spoil something that feels like the pinnacle of life with something like death?

I mean, nobody especially likes walking/running on a treadmill. Its very name is used to invoke "the daily grind," working your butt off and getting nowhere.

The difference is, the fitness machine keeps us healthy and fit. And I'd like to be THAT, if I can, to the very end.

And being found, in a mortal heap beside it, would mean that I'd done it. Without that moment, when the lights went out, having spoiled anything fun. See?

Whereas the bike, well, that's life, that's fitness, that's the ultimate rush. At least these days.

But maybe falling off of it, when it was locked in the mag trainer on a dreary winter day, would work for me.

Could I choose that? LOL...

LPK
Dreamwidth
10.3.2020
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I have new shoes and I'm going to walk in them. To get fit, again. For the boy...

LPK
LiveJournal
4.14.2013 (a)
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Started for the track late Friday morning and after walking about a block decided I hadn't dressed well enough for the 12 to 14-degree weather. And I knew, if I was feeling it on the way to the track, the wind would push that bone-chilling cold right through me once I actually got there.

So I headed back to the house to change into a heavier base layer, add another pair of socks and maybe get out my fleece cycling pants. But when I got to the house I realized I didn't have time for all that before picking up my grandson at school, etc. Besides which I'd been feeling guilty about skipping my other exercises the past few days.

Dunno why but I've felt really exhausted some days. Part of it's getting up at night to use the bathroom and some of it's from sharing a room with my grandson. The little boy kicks and fidgets in his sleep and I often wake up to make sure he's covered and that he's breathing OK. (He has asthma.)

I'm not sure that's the whole of it but, between being tired and having to fit things in around five other schedules, I've been opting more frequently to do either the walk or the stretching/strengthening. Problem is, I'm not gonna reach the goals I've set for overall fitness and readiness for work (should that opportunity present itself).

Anyway, I've decided I have to get back into the stretching and strengthening so that's what I've done for the past several days. In the meantime, the tree is up and decorated (bah-humbug), the presents have been shipped to the west coast, and the house, except for the kitchen, is a wreck.

I've also been signing checks for my dad's estate, gathering the necessary documents to sell his car to my son, and cooking a meal here and there. Given that I've never pretended to be a multi-tasker, life has increasingly felt like a struggle to survive with the outcome sometimes in doubt.

And every so often I drift away to one of those places like Key West where I ply the Intercostal Highway on a Can-Am Spyder and otherwise become the one I'd always dreamed of being...

LPK
LiveJournal
12.20.2009
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Two days ago, when I walked down through the woods beside the golf course and out onto the frozen surface of the high school track, it was covered with about three inches of fresh snow. It was early afternoon and no one else had been there, none of the other fitness walkers who most years persist in this madness until the snow is simply too deep to be walked in.

Last year, I was determined to be among the last of them but there was always the same diminuitive set of athletic shoe prints rounding the track before me until the day I finally decided that my lungs were just too totally effed-up to continue.

In the spring, it was the same thing, "Ms. Tiny Two-shoes" had been there ahead of me and continued to be there, first, until the snow finally melted off and I could no longer tell if she was still laying down tracks just to torture me.

To my knowledge, I never actually saw her and always wondered who she was. There were, of course, a number of women using the track over the course of the year.

There was the middle-aged blonde with short-cropped hair who arrived each morning in a white Camry convertible and never smiled and never spoke. And there was the tanned, slender, and uber-athletic brunette who smiled twice and said hello once.

Why even remember such things when I sometimes have trouble keeping track of the laps I've walked? Maybe because the "mystery footprints" are such an apt reminder that life indeed goes on, "within you and without you..."

LPK
LiveJournal
12.11.2009

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