Work More, Talk Less

[thisnewday]

Yesterday, I introduced the grandson to the router, a portable electric tool which is used in cabinetmaking to join parts and create decorative details. But because what we're doing is so basic, simple butt-joints and corner-rounding, I took a minute to explain the other uses of the tool and then set him to work with it.

And that's what I need to do more of: simple explanations followed by quick transitions into the actual work. Jason is just not a kid who tolerates well the kind of long-winded discourses which his grandfather is prone to delivering. He's like, ditch the poetry, show me the product.

Which is why I find it necessary to unload here on my long-suffering LJ and DW friends. And why there are so few of them, lol. Just think of yourselves as a highly select audience, I guess. There's gotta be some solace to be had in this.

Anyway, we've got one more unit to take back down, from its temporary mounting on the table, for these "finishing touches." Last night, I went ahead and finished the two that we'd taken down before he left.

As I worked, I reflected on how much I'd forgotten since the last time I'd done this, and had to re-learn, and how much the kid and I have actually learned together.

I think there's a lot to be gained by doing this, for him and for me. We just have to overcome a few things, like his impatience with detail and my tendency indulge in too much of it.

One of my favorite bumper stickers, which I've never had on my own car but have seen around town, is the one that says, "Wag more, bark less."

Which is totally appropriate for me, just as it is. But when it comes to the way that I work with my grandson, it could also be, "Work more, talk less."

Which I'm sure would work for him...

LPK
Dreamwidth
10.12.2017

Comments

[rosegardenfae]

I, too, am a "detail freak" and this trait is something I have had to control when sharing my knowledge with my girls and grandchildren. Especially Anah, who is firmly convinced she already knows more than I do.

Currently we are focused on pie crust, and I've stopped hovering over her as she works. In spite of her vast knowledge, she still has to ask me the recipe every time, as well as wanting me to check the dough before she adds the water, so I'm still handy to have around for reference and for peeling apples.

So, you've pegged Jay's learning style and that's great. Today's kids are going to need these basic life skills and few that I know are learning them.

Erikson's theory of pyschosocial development denotes our stage of life as "generativity vs. stagnation." Imho we're both fulfilling the positive side of that role, and both we and the kids are gaining a lot in the process.

[thisnewday]

"Today's kids are going to need these basic life skills and few that I know are learning them."

This is so frighteningly true and it's so difficult to convince them of the reality of it. Because, in my opinion, all of it is now done for them whereas, in past generations--my parents' and earlier--the kids were necessarily an integral part of the survival engine of the family.

Some of this can probably be linked, historically, to the shift from an agrarian to an urban culture, but of course that's not the whole of it. Some families are still very successful at imparting such values and skills to their kids but, with increasing reliance on institutions outside of the home, because of single-parent situations or both parents working, it's legitimately more challenging.

Well, there I go again. But I know it's a subject close to both of our hearts, as are our grandkids, and I wish us both luck in trying to deal with it. Because I do believe it's absolutely true that there's so much to gain, or lose, on both sides of this...

[rosegardenfae]

Well said Professor. ;-)

All of the points you make highlight our role as grandparents because we are the ones with the very skills they need.

So good for us I say, and good for Anah and Jay as well.

Have I told you how cool I think you are?

[thisnewday]

Thank you so much, that's very nice of you. But what I think is really cool is that we can have these conversations and be supportive of each other and of our grandchildren.

[rosegardenfae]

Yep. That's what friends are all about.