Raining

[thisnewday]

Raining today. Just raining.

Once, when I was 12 years old and grieving the loss of my maternal grandmother, her sister came out on the porch where I was sitting and asked me if I knew what the shortest verse in the Bible was.

I said that I didn't.

"Jesus wept," she said.

She knew how special my grandmother had been to me and had noticed that there were no tears. Just silence. Just me, out there alone, sitting in silence.

And so she said, "Jesus wept."

Some years after that, when I was a freshman in college and was taking Intro to Lit, the professor, who was a practicing Christian, introduced the literary concept of "pathetic fallacy."

The pathetic fallacy is when nature, or other non-human forces or objects, are portrayed in art or literature as acting in sympathy with human feelings.

Today is Good Friday, the day on which Christians believe Jesus was crucified.

When I was younger, and it rained on Good Friday, I always thought that this meant that nature was grieving the loss of God's son, mankind's savior.

I don't remember what I thought when the day was warm and pleasant and sunny.

I just remember that there used to be such days...

LPK
Dreamwidth
3.30.2018

Comments

[rosegardenfae]

I did not know the term pathetic fallacy, good info to have.

Your thoughts reveal that you were a sensitive perceptive boy. Quite deep for one so young, admirable.

Did you receive the cookie recipe? We had sun yesterday and I was outside a lot, but didn't catch a whiff.

[thisnewday]

As I think back on my childhood, it seems like my father didn't quite know what to make of me. He mentioned a couple of times, when I was older, that when he'd come back from his wartime service overseas, he'd found himself years behind everyone else--meaning my grandmother--in terms of his relationship with me.

And I'm sure that in some respects that's true. One of my mother's favorite stories, about my dad's homecoming, was that when he came up the walk at my grandmother's where we'd been living and she said to me, "Look, who's that?" the two-year-old me replied, noncommittally, "A man."

Which she found hilarious, at the time and long afterwards, even though it revealed a dynamic which was to be of significant impact and duration.

But it also became obvious, over time, that my father really didn't know how to handle me, that I wasn't like the quarrelsome pack of feral farm kids that he'd grown up with but that I was...different.

In fairness, I also have to say that, even at a young two-and-a-half, I was a spoiled, entitled little sh!t, which didn't help my relationship with this man whose own growing up had happened in the midst of a world-wide depression.

So, sensitive and perceptive, yes, but probably mostly to my own wants and needs. Which, up to a point, is also just part of being a kid.

The real problems arise when you reach adulthood and try to take on adult relationships and responsibilities--like trying to raise your own kids--and still haven't recognized and dealt with your own issues. Hmm, "like father, like son," maybe?

Anyway, enough about that. Let's talk about Thick Chewy Oatmeal Raisin Cookies, lol. AND about Anah's saxophone video.

Yes, I did receive the recipe attached to your text and thank you very much for that! I can't wait to try them! But about Anah's sax video, I'm afraid I did not. Which could have more to do with my ineptitude or inattention, more than anything else, but I wonder if you would mind re-sending it?

It's just so cool, watching these young kids explore and develop talents that we ourselves once dreamed of mastering.

Anyway, looking outside, I see a day that holds some promise of being brighter, if not much warmer than those just past. And that's gotta be a good thing for those of us who struggle with "seasonal affective disorder" and other forms of depression, whether situational or clinical or both.

At least that's what I'm telling myself as I prepare to venture out to find gift cards for the grandkids this Easter weekend.

Hoping that this is a sunny and pleasant one for you and yours as well...

[rosegardenfae]

Will resend. It's Lainey, Anah plays percussion and is dropping band soon.

Being outside yesterday did wonders for me.

Tried again today and realized I had been overenthusiastic yesterday so tired out quickly. Came back in, took a hot bat and now am feeling really good.

Erin is bringing food...YES!

Seems to me you are still sensitive and perceptive. You don't give yourself enough credit. I say that because it's something I do too, so, easily recognizable in others. I think being in uncomfortable relationships for years makes us mistrust ourselves, but moving right along.

It's a great day.

I love my hair, always a good omen.

I don't have to cook....big plus

LIFE is good.

I hate SADD. I loathe the heat or I'd move South or Southwest.

Hope you find the perfect cards and have fun with those you love best.

Mea culpa for the stream of consciousness reply, it just sort of poured out.

HUGS

Oh, and I'm jealous of your spoiled entitlement.

[thisnewday]

HUGS right back! Got the cards AND got my haircut! Jason's mom does it for me, having been a cosmetologist in a previous life.

She does a great job and I give her what I would at the hairdresser's plus the tip. She's always appreciative and I know she can use the money.

Sorry I got the kids mixed up. We had even talked about your Anah and my Sophia both being percussionists. Has Anah just lost interest or gotten too busy? I know she does a lot of other things, including theater and sports, in addition to her amazing academic performance.

Definitely looking forward to seeing/hearing Lainey on the sax!

Also no need to apologize to me, of all people, for the verbal output. When it's there, ya gotta let it roll and I'm an avid listener.

So glad you're catching a break from some of the routine things and having a good day.

As for my spoiled entitlement, I now think that if I could sit down among the adults who were so important to me earlier in life, I'd just say to them, "I'm here to listen..."