if i could only

[thisnewday]

if i could only
get back to seasons,
the endless cycles,
the powerful drift,
the ceaseless flow,
of something
that exists
outside
of me;

if i could only
get back to something
beyond the reasons,
the insistent push
of small events
that spill
from teacups,
that stain
this life
but do not
color;

if i could only
open doors, unshutter
windows and
breathe,
just
breathe,
and then
perhaps
remember...

LPK
8.5.7 (a)