WTF Is This?

[thisnewday]

Tonight was, for whatever reason, the most difficult exercise session I've ever done.

Several, of what pass as strength exercises these days, actually HURT as I completed the reps.

Which makes me wonder if this is a signal that my current levels of training and fitness are no longer sustainable.

I truly hope not, because I'm simply not prepared for a life in which I'm even less physically engaged, less present, than what I am now.

Because I have, and am, almost nothing as it is, walking, riding, stumbling, day by day, towards the dust which we're told we are and to which we will return...

LPK
Dreamwidth
12.14.2021

Comments

[earthmother45]

Sometimes it's just not fair.
Your last line really got to me. My husband feels that way and I often do, too. His PAH and COPD are getting the best of him. Today I said to him after so many calls to doctors, etc. to try and get something straightened out and never getting an answer or even a call back for a week, I said to him, "I just don't feel like I belong in this world anymore. There's no place left for us older people." Very sad to feel that way because it didn't used to be like this. Well, that's my unload, my rant of the moment. Thanks for listening, my friend.
I hope you get this. If you're meant to, I guess you will.

[thisnewday]

I did indeed get it. And I "get it." Totally.

And, like you, I was struck by the exact wording of something you said.

It was, "I just don't feel like I belong in this world anymore."

It's not like that all of the time. And I don't have any plans to remove myself from it.

But, it's just there. That loss of engagement. And that resulting loss of place.

Hoping for better days for all of us. And glad to hear from you anytime...