At Least I'll Know
May. 28th, 2017 02:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thisnewdayFor the sake of my son, when I was trying to help him heal himself, I kept no alcohol in the house. Even when my wife complained, because she liked an occasional beer with the few meals she was able to have at home, I told her that this was something we had to do for him.
Months after that, when I had moved to my own place and my grandson seemed uncomfortable that I was having a beer with the meal that we were sharing, I later told him that I had thrown the rest away, had dumped two bottles of a craft beer down the kitchen drain.
And now, even though he no longer visits me, I've decided not to have it in the house. For it takes away, or enhances, the edge of sorrow, depending.
But, mostly, it slows and deadens me to the new life that I need to start living. And so, if sorrow should find me, in this fully-conscious place, then let it be.
Because, then, at least I'll know that I'm alive to the rest of it...
LPK
@Dreamwidth
5.28.2017
Months after that, when I had moved to my own place and my grandson seemed uncomfortable that I was having a beer with the meal that we were sharing, I later told him that I had thrown the rest away, had dumped two bottles of a craft beer down the kitchen drain.
And now, even though he no longer visits me, I've decided not to have it in the house. For it takes away, or enhances, the edge of sorrow, depending.
But, mostly, it slows and deadens me to the new life that I need to start living. And so, if sorrow should find me, in this fully-conscious place, then let it be.
Because, then, at least I'll know that I'm alive to the rest of it...
LPK
@Dreamwidth
5.28.2017
