Confession
Oct. 10th, 2008 11:21 pmI went to P/T today hoping that R, of the wondrous smile and slender, athletic frame, would be there. And I decided that I would at least say, "Hi, how ya doing? How's yer Achilles? Etc., etc."
I'd been thinking, since the last time, about how it would be to have someone smile a friendly smile just because I'd walked into the room. How it would be to smile back, each of us knowing that the other was sincerely interested in the life of the other.
How it would be to know that something as simple as that smile, that interest, that caring, could grow into something deeper. Without reasonable fear that something in our sad history with each other need inhibit our openness to it.
So I walked in a few minutes early, said hello to Annie, the bubbly desk person/office manager, and sat down. I pulled out my glasses and notepad and re-read a draft copy I'd brought to correct.
As I read, I listened for her name. You know, from the curtained-off therapy beds where they start you off with the heating pads and ultra-sound and stim. Where they loosen you up and stretch you out and work with you on stability and balance and range of motion to get you ready for the fitness machines.
She never walked by me to sign in or out and I never heard her name. Maybe she only does two days a week instead of three and maybe she'll be there again next week. Maybe next week we'll catch each other's glance and smile...
I'd been thinking, since the last time, about how it would be to have someone smile a friendly smile just because I'd walked into the room. How it would be to smile back, each of us knowing that the other was sincerely interested in the life of the other.
How it would be to know that something as simple as that smile, that interest, that caring, could grow into something deeper. Without reasonable fear that something in our sad history with each other need inhibit our openness to it.
So I walked in a few minutes early, said hello to Annie, the bubbly desk person/office manager, and sat down. I pulled out my glasses and notepad and re-read a draft copy I'd brought to correct.
As I read, I listened for her name. You know, from the curtained-off therapy beds where they start you off with the heating pads and ultra-sound and stim. Where they loosen you up and stretch you out and work with you on stability and balance and range of motion to get you ready for the fitness machines.
She never walked by me to sign in or out and I never heard her name. Maybe she only does two days a week instead of three and maybe she'll be there again next week. Maybe next week we'll catch each other's glance and smile...