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Technology
Jul. 29th, 2013 09:42 amOver the weekend, my Samsung flip-phone started acting up. It actually went dead on me a couple of times before a bright light came on and a voice from within it said, with unmistakable SoCal surfer inflection, "Dude, seriously, yer phoene is messed up."
So I went to the Verizon store yesterday and a nice young man convinced me that continuing to resist the on-rushing tide of new technology was futile, not to mention inconsistent with life itself, and besides he would be obliged to soak me $80 for another flip-phone whereas I could upgrade to a brand new Android phone for free.
After consulting by phone with Her Nurseliness, who was more than slightly annoyed that I'd disturbed her at the casino, I reluctantly agreed and signed the contract. The nice young man then proceeded to demo about 3000 functions in 5 milliseconds, after which he threw everything in a bag, told me to write sometime, and sent me out the door.
Needless to say, I spent the rest of the day bitching, pissing, and moaning about this piece of schmidt (local joke) phone that had been foisted on me and came very close to testing its shock-resistance against a lath and plaster wall in the dining room.
My other impulse was to wait for the nice young man to arrive back at the Verizon Store this morning and, as he got out of his car, ask him how he thought my new phone would work as a sort of high-tech suppository.
But I resisted that urge as well and was at the Verizon site on the computer, trying to figure out how the hell to enter simple text on this technological nightmare, when my ten year old grandson gets up, rubs the sleep from his eyes, and asks me what I'm doing. I tell him that I've got a new cell phone and that I absolutely hate it.
Instantly his eyes light up and he says, "Oh, can I see it?" and proceeds to flash through all the menus and apps in slightly less time than the nice young man at the Verizon Store.
Then he hands it back to me and says, no joke, "Cool phone, what's wrong with it...?"
LPK
LiveJournal
7.29.2013
So I went to the Verizon store yesterday and a nice young man convinced me that continuing to resist the on-rushing tide of new technology was futile, not to mention inconsistent with life itself, and besides he would be obliged to soak me $80 for another flip-phone whereas I could upgrade to a brand new Android phone for free.
After consulting by phone with Her Nurseliness, who was more than slightly annoyed that I'd disturbed her at the casino, I reluctantly agreed and signed the contract. The nice young man then proceeded to demo about 3000 functions in 5 milliseconds, after which he threw everything in a bag, told me to write sometime, and sent me out the door.
Needless to say, I spent the rest of the day bitching, pissing, and moaning about this piece of schmidt (local joke) phone that had been foisted on me and came very close to testing its shock-resistance against a lath and plaster wall in the dining room.
My other impulse was to wait for the nice young man to arrive back at the Verizon Store this morning and, as he got out of his car, ask him how he thought my new phone would work as a sort of high-tech suppository.
But I resisted that urge as well and was at the Verizon site on the computer, trying to figure out how the hell to enter simple text on this technological nightmare, when my ten year old grandson gets up, rubs the sleep from his eyes, and asks me what I'm doing. I tell him that I've got a new cell phone and that I absolutely hate it.
Instantly his eyes light up and he says, "Oh, can I see it?" and proceeds to flash through all the menus and apps in slightly less time than the nice young man at the Verizon Store.
Then he hands it back to me and says, no joke, "Cool phone, what's wrong with it...?"
LPK
LiveJournal
7.29.2013
