Milestones
Oct. 24th, 2008 04:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thisnewdayToday was, in all likelihood, my last day of outpatient physical therapy. On Monday I'll be going back to the bone doc for my third, and hopefully final, post-op exam.
This day, and all the new prospects that it may hold, was one of my goals entering surgery. And while I feel like I've won back a part of my life, I'm less sure than I'd like to be about what to do with it.
Which means that, although today represents something of a milestone, it may also signal an unfortunate failure. Because I should've used the intervening time to figure out what comes next.
Which in turn leads me to believe that a life, well and productively lived, should probably be thought of in terms of the next goal beyond the upcoming milestone. Not that we should be compulsive and inflexible planners but that we should value our time enough to be thoughtfully and actively engaged in the way we use it.
I'm a certified Red Cross shelter worker but I'm pretty sure, given the physical demands, that it's no longer an option for me. I've also thought about volunteering at the Silverman VA Hospital as a reader or letter writer or whatever. And I'm also interested in doing something with adult literacy. Finally, there's a need for additional household income as well as the continuing care of my grandson.
I guess I could plead that part of my problem has been the sh*tstorm that's been blowing through this household the past 2-3 months. And maybe I should feel good about having stayed focused, on my post-op recovery, in spite of it.
But I want more from the rest of my life than that. I want to do more than simply survive this crisis and the next and the next. And it's gonna require the same sense of purpose, the same intensity, the same focus that my physical therapy did.
In that effort, of course, my physical therapist was a steady partner and helper and mentor. So where are you, Julie, when I really need you...
This day, and all the new prospects that it may hold, was one of my goals entering surgery. And while I feel like I've won back a part of my life, I'm less sure than I'd like to be about what to do with it.
Which means that, although today represents something of a milestone, it may also signal an unfortunate failure. Because I should've used the intervening time to figure out what comes next.
Which in turn leads me to believe that a life, well and productively lived, should probably be thought of in terms of the next goal beyond the upcoming milestone. Not that we should be compulsive and inflexible planners but that we should value our time enough to be thoughtfully and actively engaged in the way we use it.
I'm a certified Red Cross shelter worker but I'm pretty sure, given the physical demands, that it's no longer an option for me. I've also thought about volunteering at the Silverman VA Hospital as a reader or letter writer or whatever. And I'm also interested in doing something with adult literacy. Finally, there's a need for additional household income as well as the continuing care of my grandson.
I guess I could plead that part of my problem has been the sh*tstorm that's been blowing through this household the past 2-3 months. And maybe I should feel good about having stayed focused, on my post-op recovery, in spite of it.
But I want more from the rest of my life than that. I want to do more than simply survive this crisis and the next and the next. And it's gonna require the same sense of purpose, the same intensity, the same focus that my physical therapy did.
In that effort, of course, my physical therapist was a steady partner and helper and mentor. So where are you, Julie, when I really need you...
